Boosters : When a conversation doesn’t go as planned…

You know that feeling, when you think you could have handled that conversation with one of your team a bit better? How it was all planned out in your head and then it just didn’t happen the way you imagined? And now you’re wondering what to do about it.

  1. Stop. All this going round in circles isn’t helping. Nor is trying to carry on with other stuff whilst this is in the back of your mind. Either stop what you’re doing right now and take time to do the next steps or decide when you are going to deal with your thoughts – and give yourself permission to push them away when they interrupt you before then.
  2. Reflect. What went well in the conversation, from your perspective? What didn’t? Why didn’t it? What are the actual (not perceived) consequences of what didn’t go well? Do these consequences need remediating? What would happen if you did nothing?
  3. Act. Probably not a good idea to re-engage at this stage so use your time to act, to decide what you are going to do and when. Even if there’s no remedial activity to do with the individual, you could still take some time to work out what you might do differently in the future.
  4. Accept. Ok, it didn’t go to plan. You’ve owned it, acted on it now accept that it happened, that you’ve learned from it and move on from it. And as the song goes… Shoulda coulda woulda are the last words of a fool.

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